A Beginner’s Guide to Sexy Spanking

A Beginner’s Guide to Sexy Spanking

Fancy a spot of spanky panky?

Spanking is one of the easier forms of BDSM play to experiment with. You don’t need any kit. Just two consenting adults, one derriere and your hand.

Once you have those ingredients, you can season and flavour deliciously to suit your particular palate. From a few cheeky taps and slaps as you undress each other, through to a more intense hardcore spanking experience, however you do it, sexy spanking is another way to connect with a partner and build greater intimacy.

Oh, and you certainly don’t need to visit a dominatrix to experience this kink!


What is it about sexy spanking?

There are many reasons why someone might find sexy spanking pleasurable on physical, emotional and psychological levels.

·         Sexy spanking pain can counterbalance the pleasurable feelings experienced when sexually aroused.

·         Unlike impact play with a paddle, spanking involves your hands so there’s more skin-on-skin contact.

·         The bum is an erogenous zone. Having it spanked, pinched, stroked, kissed or licked can feel amazing!

·         A ‘presented bottom’ clad in sexy underwear or completely bare, followed by the eventual appearance of a rosy derriere and hand prints makes spanking a treat for the eyes too.

·         It’s often associated with punishment so there’s the sense of ‘being naughty’ or having done something ‘wrong’ (although there is, of course, nothing wrong at all with enjoying a good spanking!).

·         The act of spanking lends itself wonderfully to a range of role plays for those of you who love the idea of dressing up.

Keeping it sexy

Despite spanking being wildly erotic, however you dress it up someone is still being hit. While the emotional, psychological and physical elements can be sensual and pleasurable, it might not take much for the pendulum to swing the other way.

Having an agreed safe word is essential in case things get a little heavier than either partner is comfortable with. Remind each other that you have this at your disposal in case you want to stop or slow things down at any point. Also, discuss intensity — will the spanking be light and playful throughout, or build up to something harder? Be sure to communicate throughout. Emotions and feelings can change during play, so keep each other informed and don’t start out with hard spanking but rather gradually build up. There’s no problem saying when you’ve had enough.

Keep spanks to fleshy parts of the body, like bum cheeks and the tops of thighs and don’t forget to build in some time for BDSM aftercare such as cuddling, a debrief conversation and applying any lotion or soothing creams to freshly spanked areas.


If you want to give sexy spanking a go...

First, get into a comfortable position. The traditional over the knee (OTK spanking) position is comfortable for both parties, presents the bum nicely and makes other erogenous zones accessible. Alternatively, the spankee could kneel on all fours or bend over a piece of furniture (sofa ends work especially well). If engaging in sexy spanking while standing, make sure the spankee can lean or press against something sturdy for support.

When I was shown by a Dominant how to spank, he suggested keeping fingers straight and together. The hand should be slightly curved. Almost in a slightly cupping gesture. Not only does this help minimise the risk of hurting your hand, but it also delivers that oh-so-satisfying spanking sound.

At the start of play, begin with lighter taps. Build up the strength and frequency of your spanking if that’s something you’ve both consented to and are comfortable doing. During play, vary the blows alternating between cheeks. Be conscious that focusing on the same area for too long can quickly become very painful, so again, always check in with your significant other.

Give each other a break. Ass spanking can be intense and tiring for both parties, so take a breather and then jump back in when you’re both ready. Relaxing into caressing, kissing and talking between sets of spanks will only enhance the experience.

Spanking should result in a nice warm, rosy-cheeked glow and a release in endorphins. Sounds pretty good right? Although a sexy spanking will deliver some level of pain, it should still be pleasurable. Listen to your body, and each other, so it’s easier to notice when it’s the right moment to call it a day.

You can vary things up by wearing sexy lingerie or a thong, varying positions (doggy style, in particular, works well), or by introducing some sex toys like dildos and vibrators.


Taking sexy spanking further...

Should you and your partner(s) discover you really enjoy spanking, then as your experience grows you may wish to explore other impact play tools. Shop the range at Harmony today!