Does Penis Size Matter?
Is it the size of the wave or the motion of the ocean that really matters?
Penis size can be a source of insecurity for many. We’re about to bust some myths and shed a little more light on the age-old question of does size matter.
Arguably one of the greatest misconceptions when it comes to sex is that all women prefer men with a big dick. Largely (if you’ll pardon the pun), this is thanks to the completely unrealistic expectations set by the porn industry, which almost exclusively portrays scenes of men with larger penises. But this can have a very real and potentially damaging impact on male self-esteem.
What’s more, since ancient times, sociocultural influences and perceptions about penis size have linked larger penises with notions of masculinity, strength and power. Which quite frankly is absurd and let’s be honest, kinda toxic.
By no means is penis size a reflection of masculinity or the ability to sexually satisfy a partner. But let’s get into the nitty-gritty.
Over to the experts
Unsurprisingly, sex researchers Masters and Johnson, have concluded that male penis size can have no real effect on female sexual satisfaction. Admittedly, this research is quite outdated and it only considers penis in vagina sex but it does still speak to the great misconception that continues today.
Masters and Johnson’s research on Human Sexual Response and Inadequacy highlights ‘vaginal adaptation’ as a basis for their findings that penis size doesn’t impact female sexual satisfaction (we'll come back to this later).
What is the average penis size?
By the time a man reaches their 20s, their penis will have grown to its maximum size. Now if you’re wondering whereabouts you sit on the size scale (not that it’s important), we have to dig a little deeper.
A 2020 study by psychologist Bruce M King determined that most men believe the erect average penis length to be above 6 inches. This widely held belief is however skewed by a number of regularly cited studies and the nature of how penis size data is collected. In many cases, researchers have relied on self-reported measurements which are subject, of course, to bias.
We only need look to phrases like ‘getting into a dick-measuring contest’ to exemplify that some men still link their worthiness or power through superficial characteristics like the length of their penis.
King’s review of research on average penis size concludes that the actual average length of the erect penis falls between 5.1 and 5.5 inches and again factoring bias, in reality, the average probably sits closer to 5.1 inches.
Undoubtedly the primary concern for most regarding the ‘does size matter’ debate is performance in the sack.
Sure, we all have our preferences (size queens we’re talking to you). But it's worth understanding that the importance of penis size will vary depending on individual tastes and cultural contexts.
Put simply, some people may place more importance on penis size, while others may not.
As mentioned above, it's worth noting that penis size alone is not a determinant of sexual pleasure or satisfaction. Many other factors, such as communication, emotional connection, and overall sexual skills, can have a far greater impact on sexual pleasure and sexual satisfaction.
Additionally, when it comes to penis-vagina sex it’s worth noting that the vagina is capable of accommodating a range of penis sizes and shapes. This is the ‘vaginal adaptation’ we mentioned earlier. Essentially, the elastic muscles of the vagina can stretch and return to their usual shape, simultaneously demonstrating penises of all sizes can be satisfying and debunking the female equivalent ‘loose vagina’ myth.
Most importantly, for those with women’s pleasure on their minds, it’s worth noting that for the majority of women, clitoral stimulation is the primary source of sexual pleasure - rather vaginal penetration - as porn would have you believe.
If you’re concerned about satisfying a female partner, worry less about your size and more about getting ‘cliterate’.
Even for women who do prefer penetration over stimulation of the clitoris, the G-Spot is located about 2-3 inches inside the front vaginal wall so it’s not necessary to have a particularly large penis to reach this inner sweet spot.
Best sex toys for smaller penises
Size certainly isn’t everything but some people want to experiment with increasing their penis size- whether that’s for the visual arousal of looking bigger or they feel a larger penis could benefit their partner. Whatever the reason, sex toys could be an option.
Couples toys that can be inserted into the vagina and worn during penetrative sex are a fabulous way of imitating bigger penis girth and offer a fuller sensation to the person being penetrated.
Similarly, regular use of a penis pump offers to help increase the length and girth of your penis.
On the other hand, in some cases having a large penis might be a pain... literally.
If you’d consider yourself to have a bigger penis and you’re into anal sex, you’ll be well aware that the anus isn’t self-lubricating.
Of course, lube is your friend in these circumstances but nonetheless, those who are particularly well-endowed may have difficulty penetrating their partner and so may have to take things very slowly. Anal sex with a big penis may require far more lube and foreplay to ease things in and certain positions may more comfortably lend themselves to handling a big dick.
The long and short of it...
Penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to sexual satisfaction and it’s certainly not the measure of a man...
Size only matters as much as you let it!
Worrying about having a small penis can drain your confidence, affecting your ability to relax and enjoy sex. Furthermore, stress and anxiety can make it more difficult to get an erection or climax and be a cause of erectile dysfunction.
Ultimately, it's important to focus on your overall sexual health and communication with your partners rather than being overly concerned about penis size. If you have concerns about your penis size or sexual performance, speaking to a medical professional or a sex therapist may be helpful.
Being good in bed is not about penis size but about how you handle it, how well you understand your partner’s needs and desires and a lot of time it’s down to practice.
Figuring out what feels best for you and your partner and then doing more of that is the key - so get experimenting and try not to worry about penis size.